Is This Shoe OK? Boat Shoe Edition

An rare column about sneakers which may or might not be great, as determined by mean authority, since I have shoes–and you also, from the remarks below. In the current installment, we are taking a look at ship shoes.

Last week it had been brought to my attention that ship shoes–the type of shoe worn with boy offenders when they retire for their summer houses though you pick up an excess shift at Dairy Queen–are still undergoing a revival. Esquire printed an whole post on this happening, where author Scott Christian pointed out that there are a few of”popular ship shoe collaborations within the last year” which comprises”a much-hyped marriage between London skate manufacturer British and Salon shoe firm Kickers. Fashion frequently takes historically dull or ugly fashions and upgrades them, pulling out of previous shoe icons (JFK? Who wears ship shoes? I normally respect that movement, particularly when it takes the wealthy to wear very dumb shit. In cases like this, I just can’t.

If we, the shoe-owning people, start to provide room to vessel shoes, what additional basic principles of fiscal bro style will we start co-opting? Salmon-colored shorts? Blue button-down tops worn by guys who will absolutely utter”no homo” after inadvertently expressing some sentimentality towards his buddy in a minute of IPA-induced vulnerability? That is lawless.

But, I’ll say this–I’ve loved girls who adore boat shoes. I haven’t enjoyed a sock-less guy in a ship shoe–the person who runs from the workplace in 4:59 P.M. to get the most from happy hour. And let us be clear, Sperry fans: it is not your own fault. Like many things, guys have destroyed the ship shoeand I simply don’t have time or room to bring them in to my life.

In summary, as my buddy Hazel Cills stated fter I pitched this site thought, boat shoes won’t ever be cool… but I’d see an image of stage ship shoes this morning and I am such a sucker for a thicc only, I’d wear them. Sue me, and also the founder of ship Creepers. Make anything just a bit goth, and I am there.